Theory
by Seneijashu
Summary: What happens when Hidan teases Kakuzu about his 'theory' about him on a mission?


"Hidan, shut up already." Kakuzu barked at the blabbering Hidan at his side. "No need to be rude now, Kakuzu. I know you secretly have a '_thing_' for me." Hidan winked and elbowed his partner. Kakuzu snorted, amused by how idiotic Hidan was. Hidan jutted out his lips a bit, after Kakuzu ignored him. "Why are we out here any ways?" Hidan asked confused, scratching the side of his head, still holding onto his blade. Kakuzu moved farther away from Hidan so he wouldn't get hit by the blade. If Hidan ever got a bit of his blood, the silver haired man would be doing his stupid 'jashin' act and tormenting the green eyed nin even more.

"You know why we're out here, Hidan." Kakuzu grumpily replied. "Are you sure? I don't remember getting orders, I just remember you dragging me out of the hideout." Hidan shrugged, looking up towards the sky. "You're lucky I can't kill you, Hidan. You're the stupidest jackass I've ever had to deal with." Kakuzu remarked at his half-wit partner. "Wow, Kakuzu. I'm just playing with you." Hidan lied not convincing Kakuzu at all, he could tell when he lied.

The two remained quiet as they walked to a small village on the outskirts of Sunagakure. "We're supposed to kill off the entire village, so don't leave any surviors. Got it, Hidan?" Kakuzu snapped. "Yeah, yeah." Hidan waved him off, ignoring his comrade. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and began to take off his akatsuki coat. Hidan licked his lips and was messing with his blade more than before. "Wait, Kakuzu." Hidan stopped the two. "What now, Hidan." Kakuzu was about to yell at the man. "How many hours do we have to get the job done?" Hidan asked trying to calculate in his mind how many people he could sacrifice to 'Jashin'.

"We have twenty four hours, asswipe." Kakuzu yelled. Hidan smirked at the taller man, "What's with you and asses, Kakuzu? You want mine, dontcha." Hidan laughed and began to sprint to some guards outside the small village. "Idiot." Kakuzu muttered and charged into the village. Hidan swung his spear out, hitting as many people as possible, a devil-ish smirk on his lips the whole time. Meanwhile, Kakuzu released his five masks, which could do; Earth, water, lighting, wind and fire techniques. Kakuzu was taking out the most villagers, this village didn't have many highly trained ninja on duty so the pickings were easy. As Kakuzu finished up, Hidan was in the middle of one of his Jashin sacrifices.

Hidan's body was now black and white and his hair a gray-ish violet color. Hidan was laughing as he stabbed a kunai through his heart and watched as his victim slumped to the dirt floor. Kakuzu walked up to Hidan, as he fell on the ground with a kunai through his chest. "Let's get going, Hidan." Kakuzu grunted as he finished putting back on his Akatsuki coat. "You're lucky I finished the sacrifice early." Hidan smirked as he pulled the kunai from himself. His body slowly returning to it's normal color. "Did you kill your area of people?" Kakuzu asked, knowing that Hidan more than likely missed someone. Hidan got up and wiped the dirt from himself, "Of course I did, Kakuzu. I always get the job done right."

As Hidan finished his sentence a young ninja came up behind him and kicked the gray haired man in the back of his knees. The ninja ran away, leaving the village that was now only occupied by two Akatsuki members. Hidan, caught off guard, fell down, pulling down Kakuzu with him and lying on top of him. Hidan winced as they both hit the ground, but his fall wasn't as bad as Kakuzu's. "Hidan." Kakuzu was about to yell at the man on top of him. "Thanks for catching me, Kakuzu." Hidan chuckled, finding their situation funny. "You really piss me off, Hidan." Kakuzu muttered angrily. Hidan could tell Kakuzu was seriously pissed off now. Hidan tried to get off the man.

Before he could get off, two strong hands pinned him to the ground. "What the hell are you doing, Kakuzu?" Hidan shouted. "You think I like you, don't you, Hidan. You're always making jokes about it. So let's test out this little 'theory' of yours, it's the perfect chance." Kakuzu smirked behind the mask he was beginning to take off, as he kept Hidan pinned under his body. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Hidan cried out as he saw a new look in his partners eyes.

'He can't be serious. There's no fucking way.' Hidan began thinking to himself. Kakuzu began to take off the coat he just put on minutes ago before him and Hidan were in this situation. Hidan's coat was somewhere else in the wreckage of the village and his blade was too far away from him to use on Kakuzu to threaten him. Kakuzu was bigger and stronger physically compared to Hidan; he had no chance to escape.

"So you plan on fucking me, Kakuzu." One of Hidan's eyebrows raised in question. "That's what you want, don't you." Kakuzu sneered as he pressed more of his weight onto Hidan. Hidan made a few choked out noises, "We can either do this the hard way or the easy way, Hidan." Kakuzu his sown lips parting into a smirk. "There's no way I'd let you even do that, Kakuzu." Hidan barked back. Kakuzu's eyes intensified as he took those words as a challenge. Kakuzu brought his mouth to Hidan's neck and bit roughly onto it, but not enough to draw blood. Hidan gasped at the sudden attack and he tried to free himself.

Hidan struggled even as Kakuzu kept attacking his neck. Hidan finally slumped down under the grip, his muscles tired from the struggle. 'If I go with this, I'll get out of here faster. If I make it hard for Kakuzu, he'll just take longer. Damn it! I don't know what to do with this bastard.' Hidan's thoughts rushing in his mind, trying to make a decision. He decided with his first choice, giving in wasn't what he wanted to truly do but in this matter it would have to be the right one.

Hidan grunted from the bites left on his neck, a bead of sweat dripping down the side of his face from the struggle. "You finally gave in. Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought you were." Kakuzu grunted and flicked his tongue down to Hidan's collar bone. "Da-damn it, Kakuzu." Hidan suppressed a moan. Hidan never wore anything besides a pair of boxers under his akatsuki coat so removing Hidan's clothes was quick. Hidan laid there almost bare in front of his partner, "I hate you." Hidan muttered under his breath. He almost told him to go eat a dick, but saying that at this time, Kakuzu might take him literally.

Kakuzu removed his shirt and his pants that were hidden under his coat. Hidan looked over Kakuzu's body, stitches were sprawled over Kakuzu's body. Kakuzu could tell that Hidan was surprised, "Never mind, you really are an idiot, Hidan." Kakuzu snorted slightly. "Fuck you, Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled out. "No, _I'll_ be the one fucking you, dumbass." Kakuzu whispered harshly into the younger man's ear. Kakuzu ripped off the last remaining piece of clothing off Hidan. Hidan wanted to get out of this mess _badly _and he knew Kakuzu would not be easy on the him.

Kakuzu's rough hand made it's way to Hidan's member, a menacing look plastered on his face. Hidan let out a sudden moan, as Kakuzu pumped him. 'This is not supposed to be happening.' Hidan tried to keep his eyes open, trying to reject the ecstasy running through his body at the other's touch. Kakuzu's other hand traveled down to the underside of Hidan, two fingers ready at his entrance. "No fucking way!" Hidan yelled out as he felt the fingers trying to enter him. He was shut up from the intrusion from down below and the fast pumping of his member.

Hidan let out a rough moan and closed his eyes, letting the mixture of pain and pleasure mix through him. Kakuzu kept going until he heard a loud gasp from Hidan, indicating he hit his sweet spot. Kakuzu stopped and pulled his fingers away from Hidan's body. Kakuzu pulled off his boxers, making sure he wouldn't rip them off like he did with Hidan's. Kakuzu was already ready, and he positioned himself in front of Hidan. Hidan scrunched up his face, ready for the pain again.

Kakuzu pressed himself inside the man, watching as Hidan's face became softer as Kakuzu rubbed past his sweet spot. "Are you ready for the answer to your theory, Hidan?" Kakuzu smirked. Hidan's mouth opened slightly and he threw his head back as Kakuzu hit his sweet spot directly. "I hate you, Kakuzu." Hidan groaned. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and pressed more of himself into Hidan, earning a choked out moan.

Kakuzu drilled faster, little by little with every noise Hidan made. Kakuzu began pumping at Hidan's member, knowing Hidan would complain about not getting the attention he needed. Hidan's usually perfect silver hair was now spread out around his head. Kakuzu could feel the tightening in his stomach releasing. Hidan came, in a almost silent moan as his muscles convulsed and relaxed. Kakuzu came soon after, and took few deep breaths before lifting himself off the man. Kakuzu put back on his clothes, his mask and his coat and surveyed the village they forgot about for a bit.

Hidan winced in pain as he got up and put his clothes on. "You could've been a bit gentler, Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled. "I still don't have a thing for you, Hidan. So there, your theory was wrong." Kakuzu grumbled and began walking away. "All of that to prove a fucking point?!" Hidan shouted, picking up his blade and followed behind Kakuzu. Kakuzu didn't reply, he kept on walking, ignoring the other as usual. "Fucking asshole." Hidan muttered under his breath.


End file.
